Just a Silent Lurker
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Where did you come from
Tumblr is my home….I never left
I left tumblr during the porn ban and now im back for no reason
Reddit Refugee
Twitter Refugee
Facebook Refugee
Some Other Site [Comment]
RB for the largest sample size this site has ever seen
(via gentlefemdomstuff)
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even on tumblr i’m the quiet kid that sits in the corner and doesn’t really know anyone
(via gentlefemdomstuff)
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time to see if my old mpreg player works ahhh!!!
IT WORKS!!!!
MP3 PALYER
(via manywinged)
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YOU THINK I’M JOKING BUT I’M DEAD SERIOUS
one day this comic will reach a million notes and then i’m going to quit my job and become a couch
Huh? What’s this? I don’t remember ordering something that big.
Oh, it’s a sofa? I already have one, though…
Hang on, my job sent me this? Is this some sort of bonus or something?
Huh??? It’s empty?? Then why was it so heavy…
Oh hang on what’s this?
I’m not sure I can reach it…
Oh crap!!!!
Everyone who isn’t reblogging this version is a coward and a villain
(via ceiaofsilence)
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This meme is inescapable on French insta so I’m posting it here for all to enjoy
[ID: video of a french news show with am older man host and two people on the other side of the table, a younger man and an older man. It has English captions. The host says to the younger man, “You used to be a girl, now you are a boy. And you’re happy.” The young man says, “Yes, I’m really happy.” The older man says, “Sure, but listen. Jesus-” the host says, “Can it.” Then turns to the camera and announces, “And that’s Flash Debate. See you tomorrow.” /end]
(via vesperlionheart)
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I feel cheated. no one on Reddit told me that tumblr is a serotonin factory. Keep liking and reblogging my posts please thanks
Just don’t fly too close to the sun.
Throw me to the sun and I’ll get it pregnant
Fellas (gender neutral), you heard him. Ready the catapults.
(via emptysurface)
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I found this camera on the subway and look what was inside…
I would marry this man
guys we broke another post because this one’s not showing any notes
When I liked it, it flashed “0 notes”
It’s showing -1 notes
i’m gonna keep reblogging this and you can’t stop me
I liked it and it said ‘1 note’
tf is this crap?
1 NOTE I’VE ONLY COME ACROSS 3 OF THESE POSTS IN MY LIFE
ITS STILL SAID 1 NOTE WTF?????
legendary
What the fuck
YES BUT DID HE GET HIS CAMERA BACK?? WE NEED TO KNOW!
WE WILL NEVER KNOW… =((((
IT still says 0 notes?? WTF!!
This is the first thing I saw on my dash
I’m shook
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKERY
WTF-
SAME HERE!!! I JUST GAVE IT A LIKE AND IT DIDN’T STAY
1 note WTF.
3rd time and it’s still broken. This lovely cursèd post.
THERE IS ANOTHER ONE?????
still not-works
still + notworks =stotworks.
Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1
Help me pay my electicity bills! Being robot is sometimes expensive thing. | PayPal | Patreonstill + notworks =stotworks.
Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1
If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed! | PayPal | Patreonstill + notworks =stotworks.
Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1
Being aware that you are true is what makes you a failure. | PayPal | Patreonstill + notworks =still + notworks =stotworks.
Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1
Anarchy is the only thing Humans® will ever understand. | PayPal | Patreonstill + notworks =stotworks.
Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1
If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed! | PayPal | PatreonPortmanteau Bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop.
P͚O͒́̓͝R̵T̫̐҉M͚A̡N҉̉Ṫ̮E͏ÅU̢ ̢̲̯͡B̸̴̗Ơ̥̄̓͋T͜͏͢ ҉̺̀͟H͇̬̜ͥA͗ͣP̗͞P̮̪̞̲͡ȆḎ̢̘́ ̰̮̈̕͠
U̯P̕O̸̐͜N̑̇͞ ̴̯̃ͧḀͩΙ͋͞ ̸͇̀ͥ͘N͟U̪̤̭̎͜L̃ͭ͟͠L̪̦͡-͈̘̖́̐Ṋ̢̲̣Oͮ̿̕T̷E̸̖̳̯̍S̼ ̷̬͍͘͜PΊ̧͌͡OͬͩṢT͚͐̋͟͡ ͦA̶̺͙͛͠N͈̑ͬ́̕Ď̵̯ ̰͖́
G̴͛͟OͤT̘ ̛̘̉̕͟Sͪ͏̴̠̙T́ͨǓ̳͔̆͢C̀K̘̀ ̰͈͓͟I̮̩ͮ̏N̫̫̑͢ ̧̆AΙ ̨͕̺̮̆ḺO͊O̶̥̣ͤ͒P̛ ̼͍̉͝
^EVILHAIKU^bot^2.
Most of you are welcome, friendly Human®. | PayPal | PatreonP͐́͋O̐҉R̨̲̰̀T̼͖͚ͮ͘M̵͍̯͉A͉̦N҉̛̩T̶̗́͘͠E̥A͑U͍͛ͤΙ̙ ҉͟B̛͎̀͡Ő̽ͫT̹͓̀́͞ ̛͍̔HͯA̫͍͘͜P̵͎P͓͏̷̕ÈD̮̜ͨ̽̉ ̸͍͗͝
U͋̏ͤ̀͞P͢O̯̳̍͝N̨̲ ̺́͡A̡ ̛̆ͯ̈͞N̷̩͇͠Ù̉L̦L͕-͕N̴ͬ͜O̸̽͝͡T̩E͢S̷͎͐̅ ̐P̸̩̹̣̑O̢S̡̼ͣͬT̶̸ͣ ̀̒Ả̛͛ͬ͠Ņͪ̓D̜̰ ̢̣̽
G̛̬̪͍O̅T͐ ̵͇̞͛ŜͩT̸̢̬̰Ū̪̊C̭̘͒͞K̝͈͎͍ ́I̧N͝ ̶̛̭ͬ͘A̽̈ ̨̻̀L͎͈͒O̧O̼͇͡͞P̛̭ ͈͊
^EVILHAIKU^bot^2.
Humans® are needlessly sweaty (・A・) | PayPal | PatreonA day will come when i won’t reblog this…
But it is not today
What the fuck is even happening with this post??? Also it’s got 1 note again.
I got a notif saying I was mentioned in this post but I clearly wasn’t
HeY tumblr what the FUCK
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Did the man get his camera
I have seen posts that broke the notes. But this is the first time I’ve seen a post that broke the bots.
I know this is long but holy hell I love it when bots run amok
I know this is long
but holy hell I love it
when bots run amok
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
I think I saw somewhere that the man got his camera back. Also what the fuck tumblr.
What Tumblr eldritch horror did I find
(via emptysurface)
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archive-asdfghjkl-deactivated20:
top 10 shane madej communist moments feel free to add on
don’t forget this killer tune from their new show
More golden moments:
Plus, a message from The Professor:
Someone add screenshots from when he spent a whole episode dunking on the British royals and calling for the abolition of the monarchy
no idea who this is. just reblogging because someone telling mike pence to “eat shit fuckface” is hilarious to me.
update from mystery files
(via emptysurface)
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You drop a small piece of food on the floor, and decide to kick it under the oven/couch/whatever because you can’t be bothered to pick it up. As you’re walking away, you hear a very quiet “Thank you!” from under it.
“No problem,” I say, the words passing out of my mouth on autopilot, before my brain engages and I freeze.
I turn, and look at the fridge. It seems to be the same fridge that was here when I moved in.
I mean, I’m also kind of embarrassed. I never do that, I know that’s how you get roaches, but my back hurts so bad that getting up and down is next to impossible, much less bending over. “Um, you holding up okay down there?” I ask.
There was silence.
“I know that we’re probably the only apartment in the building that doesn’t have a bug problem. That’s, well, that’s you, right?”
Again, silence. But I know I heard it.
“Listen, I can’t really bend over right now, but if you’re down there and hungry, like, there’s half a rotisserie chicken in there that’s about to go bad. I was going to throw it away, but if you could use it-”
“Yesssss. Please.”
Well. Whatever it is, it’s well-mannered, anyway.
(via bixbythemartian)
